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Being an inspiration to others by spreading my words and experience is what inspires me the most. This post has been on the waiting list for a while. Waiting to come out in a true and honest way to all of you out there. It’s World Mental Health Day today and the timing couldn’t be better. • As you might know by now I’ve been trough a depression. When looking back with some distance between me and the disease, I’m now ready to tell you that during the same period I was diagnosed with an eating disorder as well. Eating disorders was in my case even more tabu to talk about than a depression. Who could believe that a professional athlete doesn’t have control over her diet? • My first real experience of eating disorders was binge eating three years ago. The anxiety and feelings of guilt were terrible. I tried a couple of times to put my fingers down my throat, but never succeed. I started to train at extreme times and I used to set goals for how many days I wasn’t allowed to eat. At one point I found out I could get rid of what I had eaten by using laxatives. Something inside me told me this wasn’t normal, but I couldn’t stop. The only thing that circulated in my head was to eat as much as possible and then figure out how to get to the toilet. My life started to look like an addict’s and I probably became an addict myself. • At the end of 2017 I seeked help for my depression and this was the very first time I was 100% honest about my relationship with food. Somehow I knew my obsession with food and my body was connected to my depression and that one meeting at the psychiatric departement at the hospital became my wake up call. The therapist said I should actually go to a clinic of eating disorders. Thereafter I got on a program to eat a certain amount of meals per day at certain times without compensating in any way. About 8 months later, in June 2018, I could finally for the first time since years, eat without any anxiety or feelings of guilt. • I wish one of the answers of the multiple times I googled ”why am I binge eating?” would have been ”because you’re not eating enough, go and get help”. I hope this post will be that one google search for someone ❤️
"Ätstörningar var för mig till och med mer tabubelagt att prata om än en depression. Vem kunde tro att en professionell idrottare inte har kontroll över sin mat?", skriver Rissveds.
I samband med att hon i slutet av förra året sökte hjälp för sin depression var hon också uppriktig om sina ätstörningar och fick hjälp.
"Åtta månader senare, i juni 2018, kunde jag till slut för första gången på flera år äta utan ångest eller skuldkänslor", skriver 24-åringen som tog ett av två svenska OS-guld i Rio 2016.
I inlägget skriver Rissveds också att hon vill vara en inspiration för andra genom att berätta om sina erfarenheter.